Europeans:I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans:I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
#australians:i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
I love that feeling you get when you don’t remember that you’re reading. When you’re so captured by a book that you forget you’re reading the words. All you see is the descriptions and conversations that being to play out like a movie in your head. You don’t even think about it. Then before you know it, you’ve read 100 pages without realizing it. That’s probably the best feeling in the world.
MY BROTHER TEXTED A RADIO STATION TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT AND THE RADIO STATION ACTUALLY READ IT OUT AND IT WAS “GREAT DAY AT THE BEACH WITH MY GIRL FROM HEYWOOD JABLOMI” AND THEY READ IT ALOUD AND THE ENTIRE RADIO WENT DEAD FOR A FEW SECONDS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED WHAT THEY SAID I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD
sometimes the shit on supernatural starts seeming normal and sometimes u realize they are a couple of grown-ass men sitting in the woods around a circle of candles, waiting for a coffee machine to start talking to them thru a radio
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone